And nap time?  That was an even bigger fight.  It was the middle of the day and I didn’t want to miss a thing.  My Grandmother, who watched me while Mom was at work, was adamant about the daily hour of rest.  Looking back, I realize she needed the break more than me.

These days I can’t wait to climb into bed.  Every afternoon, the lure of fluffy pillows and cozy blankets call, “come and lay your weary head.”  A busy schedule filled with adult responsibilities makes me long for the respite that only sleep can bring.  But, when I do give in to the call, it’s with guilt and a sense of shame.

I didn’t appreciate the daily nap when I was a kid.  Now I know what a luxury sleep can be.  Eureopeans understand this.  In fact, businesses actually close down for several hours each afternoon to allow time for lunch and then a siesta.  I’m thinking of moving just for this reason alone.

We Americans are always striving to have more and be better but sometimes just laying the hell down can bring clarity that no amount of work ever could.  If there’s no way to take a nap in the afternoon, how about just leaving the office for an hour at lunch time?  Most people I know don’t even take a lunch anymore.  It’s no wonder stress and related diseases are on the rise.  I think we should all listen to my Grandma.  She was right.   It’s nap time.

I can remember the excitement I felt as I made Valentines for my classmates, family and friends.  I spent hours creating masterpieces made of lace doilies and construction paper for those I loved.  I wasn’t focused on whether or not I had one special someone but, rather, on spreading the love to all those I loved via pretty cards.  And then there was the cake – or cupcakes – or cookies shaped like hearts and decorated so beautifully that I almost didn’t want to eat them.

It was simple then and, actually, it still is.  Valentines Day is about love and love is not about what you get but what you give.  When I set aside my expections for a dozen red roses, dinner at an expensive restaurant and diamonds and focus on the giving of love everthing looks like it did all those years ago.  There are still Valentine cards to be made and cookies to be baked.  Most of all, there’s still love in my heart ready to be given away.

When I ask this question, I’m not talking about having dinner with friends or watching television, which is the only time most adults take a break. I’m talking about doing something with no purpose other than to feel that sense of exhilaration that only comes from pure play.

I’ve noticed that most of my free time is spent on obligations and joyless activities. I’ve actually caught myself sitting in front of the tv watching a show I didn’t like simply because it never occurred to me to go play. So I’ve made a list of fun things to do that have no purpose other than fun. Here they are: Ride a bike, do a puzzle, skip through the park, fly high on the swings, splash through puddles on a rainy day, dance, color, tell ghost stories, build a house of Lego’s, hula hoop till I can’t shake it anymore!

I’m sure there’s a million other ways to play, this is just my current to-do list. In fact, I think this is the best to-do list I’ve ever written.  There’s a whole world of fun to explore so let’s do it together! Please tell us about your next playdate at:

http://whattheworldneeds.org/tell-us-your-story

and don’t be surprised if your kids want to join in the fun!

So what happens on our way to adulthood? Is it our first discovery that we believe in something or someone that doesn’t exist – like Santa – that begins our descent into being a non-believer?

As we get older the disappointments get harder to recover from. If we’re not careful, our first heartbreak can cause us to turn our backs on romance and, ultimately, true love. Each disappoint is like a nail in the coffin of magic. After all, dissapointment sucks! And it takes a lot of courage to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and believe all over again.

The spirit of all belief starts with an open heart. Sometimes, after a particularly grueling experience, I’ve had to pry my heart open with a crow bar. But, if you want to experience pure joy like a child, you have to be willing to quiet your rational mind long enough to let the magic in.

In life I seek to be seasoned by my experiences, even the disappointing ones, rather than hardened by them. Hardening my heart closes the door to any possiblity of magic. Seasoning makes me wise, and still open to what magic that might lie over the next horizon. Like the Garth Brook’s song says “I could have missed the pain…” but I sure as hell don’t want to miss the dance!

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Like a kid in a candy store.” In fact, we’ve probably all experienced a child’s gleeful anticipation of the wonderful flavors that await them as they walk throught the door of a sweets shop. And they’ll taste every last one of those flavors if you let them! They aren’t hesitant and will tell you flat out if they don’t like something; usually by spitting it out, before quickly move onto something they do like. Except for the spitting part, that’s how I want to live my life.

There are so many flavors of people, places and things to do, see, learn and be. I want to try them all, without fear. The only thing stopping me is…ME! As we grow older, we’re supposed to grow wiser. Life experience is considered a good thing. But it can also be a detriment, if we let those life experiences keep us from living today to the fullest.

I think it all comes down to being in the moment, which kids do better than anyone else. They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They focus soley on what’s in front of them. They are fully present and, therefore, enjoy every minute of it, whatever “it” is!

So I think I’ll a take a lesson from the kids in my life and focus on the here and now. I’m willing to bet I’ll happier because of it.

FREE AGAIN
SHE STANDS ON THE COFFEE TABLE
ARMS UP IN THE AIR
SHE’LL DIVE RIGHT OFF WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT
TRUSTING I’LL BE THERE

SHE LAUGHS, SHE LOVES,
SHE COLORS WAY OUTSIDE THE LINES
THIS WORLD’S A BETTER PLACE
LOOKING THROUGH HER EYES

SHE DANCES
‘ROUND AND AROUND
LIKE NO ONES WATCHING HER
NO FEAR OF FALLING DOWN
AND I WONDER JUST HOW I GOT
TO WHERE I AM
OH, WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE
TO FEEL THAT FREE AGAIN

SHE’LL STOP AND BLOW A KISS
TO ANYONE SHE MEETS
SHE’LL SAY I LOVE YOU
TO A STRANGER ON THE STREET

SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT RICH OR POOR
OR THE COLOR OF THE SKIN
SHE’ LOOKS RIGHT PAST ALL THAT
AND SEES THE HEART INSTEAD

SHE DANCES
‘ROUND AND AROUND
LIKE NO ONES WATCHING HER
NO FEAR OF FALLING DOWN
AND I WONDER JUST HOW I GOT
TO WHERE I AM
OH, WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE
TO FEEL THAT FREE AGAIN

FREE FROM THE CLOCK ON THE WALL
THAT’S TELLING ME I’M WAY BEHIND
FREE FROM THE PETTY THINGS THAT GET PUT FIRST
I WANT TO SEE THE POSSIBILITIES
IN EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING
WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE
JUST LIKE HER WHEN

SHE DANCES
‘ROUND AND AROUND
LIKE NO ONES WATCHING HER
NO FEAR OF FALLING DOWN
AND I WONDER JUST HOW I GOT
TO WHERE I AM
OH, WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE
TO FEEL THAT FREE AGAIN

When I saw this cover of the New York Times magazine insert on Sunday it immediately brought up an even bigger question “DO WE HAVE TO BE SUPERHUMAN TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE?” In the face of a slew of New Year’s resolutions, this headline gave voice to all my doubts and fears about the New Year and whether I’d really be any better off at the end of it. After all, if superhuman effort is required to lose weight then what hope do we have of contributing anything of significance to those we love and society at large?

Of course, I read the article and its’ prognosis of doom left me cowering under the covers contemplating the futility of life and the inevitablity of a chocolate binge. But a funny thing happened on the way to hopeless acceptance of my fate. I realized they were wrong. Yes, it’s hard to lose weight and keep it off. But people have done it. People have also created multi million dollar corporations, changed children’s lives with their time and donations, climbed Mount Everest and even gone to the moon. These people are no different than you or I. They are not superhuman. They just acted differently when faced with the fear of failure. Instead of cowering under the covers, they threw the covers back and started on their journey, whatever their journey was.

So, to answer my own question, “Do we have to be superhuman to accomplish anything of significance?” NO. Super heroes aren’t the only ones capable of great feats of bravery and fortitude in the face of obstacles. In fact, fortitude and feats of bravery are not limited to scaling tall buildings and saving the world from evil forces. Sometimes the simplest act – like reading to your child at bedtime when all you want to do is sit on the couch with a glass of wine – is an act of great fortitude. It is the ordinary moments that add up to an extraordinary life. Just put your heart and soul into it, whatever it is. And if you’re in need of a super hero boost, I’d suggest doning a cape to get you in the mood!

- Meister Eckhart

Thanksgiving is the one day a year when Americans stop and offer gratitude for what we’ve been given.  It’s the one holiday where there is no shopping to be done other than at the grocery store.  There are no presents, fireworks, greeting cards or anything else required but your participation and presence at the holiday feast.  Thank God just for that!

This year, however, a disturbing trend has emerged.  Stores are now opening on Thanksgiving day   Black Friday is taking over Thanksgiving Thursday!  This brings up the question, when is enough enough?  Has it really gotten to the point where we can’t take a full 24 hours to be grateful for what we have?  Do we really need more money and more things so badly that Thanksgiving has to be compromised?

Now, I’m not here to bash the commercialism end of Christmas.  Anyone who knows me will tell you I love Christmas shopping and Santa as much, if not more, than the next guy.  To me, watching a kids face light up when they open a present is part of the joy of the holiday.  But the joy of Christmas should not eclipse our day of Thanksgiving.

I hope this Thanksgiving holiday finds you in the warm embrace of family and friends.  Giving thanks for what we have is the best way to kick off the season of giving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The article sited an extensive study of 100 Caucasian families, all with children ages 5 to 7, done by Birgitte Vittrup at Children’s Research Lab at the University of Texas.  Each set of parents were given instructions to have explicit conversations about interracial friendship with their children, some using a video as a jumping off point and some just instructed to have the conversation.  The results were surprising.

Out the 100 families that participated in the study, only 6 were able to discuss race with their children in a direct manner.  In fact, out of the group that were given no video as a lead in to the conversation, five families abruptly quit the study, some citing the fact they were uncomfortable pointing out skin color to their children.  The 6 families who were able to have the conversation with their kids, however, saw racial attitudes dramatically changed after just one week of frank discussion about race, equality and discrimination.

Kids are smart.  And less than 10% of them are color blind!  They can see that people have different colors of skin and eyes and hair.  They need to be able to talk about these differences in a direct way that allows them to break free of prejudice and embrace the differences their bound to encounter throughout their lives.  The lesson here?  Silence is not always golden.

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott